Life feels anything but normal most days. I often feel as if I’m going through the motions of being a teacher, mom and wife and I’m waiting for a normal day or season of life to come. What I’ve realized though is that this is normal. This is MY normal.
I have spent a lot of time praying and working for most of the things I’ve been blessed with: my husband, our kids, my family, our house, my career, etc. Some other things have also become a part of my life along the way: coaching, joining community organizations, and becoming diabetic. While I wanted and was excited about many of these things, I have found it difficult to be grateful for them at times. I’ve also struggled to accept how some of these things have altered my life. I knew getting married and having kids would change my life. Sometimes however, there are things that change your life that you didn’t plan for: enter diabetes. Obviously I didn’t want to become diabetic, but it was inevitable for me. There isn’t anything I can do to make it go away, it’s not something I can change with the right diet and exercise (yes they do play a role, but I will ALWAYS be diabetic).
Now I can sit here and be angry (which I’ve done over the last year or so) and I can be a really hard person to live with (sorry family) or I can make a decision to grow, to accept my new normal and to learn how to find joy in this new journey.
However, finding joy is really hard sometimes, especially when you are a perfectionist! I fear this part of my personality has been challenged the most in the last year. I like things in my life to be organized, planned out, and relatively clean (aside from my closet)! However, that just isn’t always realistic. I have gotten really down on myself and had very negative self-thoughts because I can’t keep my house clean all the time, be the appropriate weight, have the most efficient and well-run classroom, but you know what? No one in my life has ever told me that I’m not enough or that I’m not doing enough. In fact, it’s just the opposite. I have people who tell me I’m a great mom, a great wife, a great friend, and even a great teacher. I am enough.
That being said, I have decided my word for this year is Enough. I need to tell myself each and every day that I am enough. I need to be reminded that when I do my best and give my all in each moment, I am enough. This will be my path to peace and how I plan to find joy in my journey.
I was able to reflect and come to many of these realizations after I listened to this sermon by Steven Furtick of Elevation church. I actually listened to the podcast, but you can watch his sermons live or online if you’d like. Check out their app for all the ways to get connected.
What is your word for 2019?
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