My T1D Story - Part 4

Check out the rest of my diabetes story - part 1 - part 2 - and part 3!

I'm sorry it took me a bit to get back to writing. It's been a busy couple of weeks on the home front! I always think once the holidays are over that things will slow down. It seems anything but that in reality! It's mostly fun get-togethers with friends and community events that are purposely planned after the holiday rush, but I'm finding that things are booking up fast!

Anyway, it was September 2017 and I was on my way to see the endocrinologist for the first time with my hubby. I remember being nervous and really unsure about what to expect from the appointment. Throughout that week I had been researching every test result that I saw on my online chart and trying to figure out what it all meant. Was this something that I was going to deal with for life or will I eventually "grow out of it?"

I'm a school librarian by day, so I pride myself on being able to find valid information online. However, I dove hard into the interweb and found anything and everything I could read about diabetes. There were a couple nights I barely slept at all because my mind was RACING and one website of information would lead me to another question and it just kept going! I wouldn't recommend looking online at all when faced with any medical issue. Just don't do it. At all. It's not worth it. Find people you trust and talk to professionals. Everything else just leads to mental anxiety! [PS: You can keep reading my blog as I won't give you any actual medical advice! I am just sharing my story and hoping others find comfort in knowing they aren't alone.]

When I arrived at my appointment (thank goodness we made it to that day so I could get actual advice) I thought they may do more blood work or run me through a gamut of tests when I got there. However, I really just met with the nurse and doctor that day and just talked. He looked at my test results from the previous week and saw my A1C was 11.4%. Since it is recommended to be under 7% when you have diabetes, that was much too high. That day he prescribed me Humalog, which meant I would be taking insulin with every meal from that point forward. He also suggested I meet with a diabetes educator to learn more about living with diabetes.

I wasn't too excited about meeting with another educator (I know, I know, that was a dumb thought based on the sleepless nights I'd recently had)! I had previously met with an educator when I had gestational diabetes and I figured this one was going to tell me the same things I already knew. However, I listened (probably persuaded by my husband to take the suggestion of the doctor) and we met later that day with the educator. I came to find out that meeting with the educator was one of the best decisions we made that day.

We discussed checking blood sugars, when to be concerned about my numbers, how to overcome highs and lows, but most importantly that it was okay to eat carbs. Throughout that last week I had hardly eaten any carbs, and let me tell you, I WAS HUNGRY!! She explained that the body actually needs carbohydrates in order to function and that it was okay to eat them. Of course, I needed to track them and take the appropriate amount of insulin when I did eat them, but it wasn't feasible for me not to eat any carbs for the rest of my life.

That was a huge weight lifted off of my shoulders! I was very dedicated to controlling my diet when I was pregnant because my choices were not affecting just me, they were also affecting my children. I didn't want them to be at a disadvantage before they were ever born, so I did whatever I had to do to ensure they were healthy. Then after finding out I was going to be diabetic probably for the rest of my life, I felt like I was faced with the challenge of having to eat perfectly for the rest of my life! That was a daunting task. Did I care about my health as much as I did my kids' health? No. Did I think it was possible to never indulge in lattes and scotcheroos ever again? That's a HARD NO!

I was hesitant to accept the fact that I was going to be on insulin and would have to give myself multiple shots daily, possibly for the rest of my life. However, it was also very freeing to know that I could have a normal diet and still be healthy.

My task going forward was to get my blood sugars in check so that they could do some more testing in the coming months and determine the type of diabetes I was faced with. At the time of that first appointment with my endocrinologist, they labeled my diabetes Type 2 because they had to call it something and they didn't have enough evidence at that point to call it Type 1.

My thoughts at the time: if it's Type 2, I can probably get rid of it and I will do whatever I have to do to make that happen.

Stay tuned for more!

Mt T1D Story - Part 3

You may want to check out Part 1 and/or Part 2 of my story before you read this one!

It's Homecoming Week, I went in for blood work on Tuesday morning and then I was able to take off some time on Wednesday morning to go to the clinic to meet with our family doctor to discuss my high glucose counts and test results. During my appointment, we discussed family history with diabetes (I have a 3rd and 4th cousin who have type 1, but no one else) and what symptoms I was having (frequent urination, thirst, loss of energy - which I chalked up life changes). At that appointment, he decided to prescribe me Metformin, which he told me was supposed to help the insulin I did have work better. A side effect would be weight loss. All of those things I was okay with!  Again, he wanted me to start tracking my blood glucose in the morning and at each meal. He asked me to call in my numbers on Friday morning so they could see if the medication was working.  I also had more tests done that day that were related to diabetes and thyroid functions.

Friday morning rolled around, my numbers had decreased slightly, but not too much. I was trying to eat almost no carbs so that my numbers would be a bit better, but even that was only helping so much.  After I called in my numbers, the doctor called back and wanted to start me on a long-lasting insulin - Lantus. They sent the prescription into our local pharmacy and I had plans to get it after school.  My doctor also mentioned that he would like me to see an endocrinologist (a diabetes specialist), just so that they could look through my files and make any other recommendations they felt necessary.

Meanwhile, I felt defeated. So, so defeated. Throughout my two rounds of gestational diabetes, I had been able to control my blood sugars with my diet. Here I was a few days in and I couldn't do it on my own anymore.  I was flooded with so many thoughts... my aversion to needles and having to stab myself each day, let alone the fact that I was already pricking my fingers several times just to check my blood sugar. I felt as if I was at the beginning of the end. The end of what? Life as I knew it,  normal, being healthy, being able to be a go-with-the-flow kind of person, and being able to check "no" on all the boxes when I fill out any sort of health-related form. I felt broken and I didn't think that I could be fixed.

Later that day, a nurse from the doctor's office called back after she had been trying to find endocrinologists in our area. I live in a rural town, so she wanted to know how far I was willing or wanting to travel. She gave me the options and I decided on a Diabetes Clinic about two hours from my house. The only problem was that it was going to take about 3-4 months to get in to see one of the doctors because they were so booked. The nurse assured they would send my test results over and get me in as soon as they could. In the meantime, they were confident that my family doctor would be able to help me get my blood sugars under control and we would wait out the few months until I could get a second opinion.

That all happened on a Friday. The following Tuesday, I got a call from the Diabetes Clinic and they were going to get me in the next day. Wait a minute...what? I thought it was going to be 3 or 4 months? It's been 3 days! I'm sure this is a blessing, but is it a coincidence I got in this quickly or is this worse than I thought?

Stay tuned for Part 4!

My T1D Story - Part 2

Hello again!

If you want to check out Part 1 of my story, read it here!

I mentioned previously, that I am a teacher. Because I had my son about 10 weeks before the end of the year, I was able to take maternity leave through the rest of the school year and then had summer break to be home with him as well. I spent five glorious months with my brand new baby and my daughter who was now three. There were some long days (where are my coffeeholics at?), but taking that time was something I will never regret.

The end of summer rolled around and I was struggling to keep my baby boy fed with breastmilk alone. I had been supplementing with formula since about week two, because he wasn't gaining enough weight. My boy was and always has been a GOOD eater! Needless to say, breastfeeding wasn't the easiest once he got used to getting it from the bottle and getting as much as he wanted.  Once I was back at work full-time I pretty much stopped breastfeeding. I tried to keep up with pumping, but my schedule was all over the place and I just wasn't committed to it anymore.

So it's mid-August and I was back to work, stressed over my waning milk production, trying to keep up with my kiddos and figure out our new schedule. Life was nuts! At work, I wasn't keeping up with drinking water like I had been all summer, so I noticed that I was really thirsty when I got home at the end of the day. I just craved ice water all evening. Well, when you drink that much water in the evening before bed and you've recently had a second child, you're going to have to wake up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom.  All of these things are normal, right?!

I was convinced that I was just transitioning and finding a new normal, so it really didn't even cross my mind at that point that maybe the diabetes was back.  All of a sudden it's September 23, a Saturday, and I finally remember to check my blood sugar when I wake up in the morning. I checked it and it was 349. Whoa! I had never been that high before...EVER! I mentioned the number to my hubby, but just thought something was off.  I planned to check it again the next morning and just tried to ignore it the rest of the day.

The next morning, I checked my fasting glucose again and it was 370. So I checked it again right away and it was something similar. Now the worry was starting to set in. However, my husband had left for a work trip at 3:30 am and it was Homecoming Week at school (I'm the Student Council advisor, so that meant it was going to be a hectic week). I brushed it off, thinking I would deal with it next week after he was home and I had fewer things going on.

Enter guardian angel.

The next day, Monday, I was getting things set up for Homecoming Coronation in our gym. I was working with our technology director, who also happens to be an awesome T1D mom. I mentioned to her that I had a couple high blood sugar numbers very nonchalantly in our conversation that afternoon. She asked what they were, I told her, and she looked at me and told me to make the call now. I didn't really understand why she was SO concerned, but assured her I would when coronation was over and I had a chance later that day. She made me promise and I agreed (still thinking she was overreactting a bit - sorry C)!

Coronation happened, I was back in my office and working and she came in and asked me if I had made the appointment yet. I said no, but I would call right away. So I did. I called.

I got an appointment to get blood work done the next morning and I was going to meet with the doctor the morning after that to go over the results. Remember, it was still Homecoming Week and my husband was halfway across the United States on a business trip. To say I was getting more stressed, would be a large understatement.

Stay tuned for Part 3!

My T1D Story - Part 1

Hey friends!

I am always interested in listening to others’ diabetes stories as each one is truly unique! While I’m only about 18 months into being "diabetic," a lot has happened in that amount of time.

My diabetes journey really started in August of 2013. I was about 28 weeks pregnant with my first kiddo. I went in for the glucose screening and failed the initial test. I don’t even remember how bad I failed, I just knew I had to come back and drink more of that nasty juice! So I went back in, took the long test, and was told before leaving, “No news is good news. We’ll call if we need to.”

To be honest, I really hadn’t read that much about gestational diabetes and I assumed I’d be fine. Everything else in my pregnancy had been going so smoothly. I was gaining the normal amount of weight, relatively no morning sickness (other than when brushing my teeth, toothpaste was awful!), and I felt good overall. Of course, I got the call saying you have gestational diabetes and we want you to meet with a diabetes educator and start using diet to control your blood sugar. I obliged, thinking about how much I didn’t want to have to deliver a giant sugar baby!

I was able to get through the rest of my pregnancy being able to control the diabetes with my diet and I delivered a healthy, 8 lb and 6 oz beautiful baby girl! When I went in for my 6-week appt, I had to do a glucose test again and results came back in the normal range. I thought (and hoped) that would be the end of my experience with diabetes.

Fast forward to the end of December 2016: it was time for the 28-week blood glucose test during my second pregnancy. Again, I failed the first test miserably. I went in for the longer test and failed those even worse. Welp...here we go again I thought. I was able to control my blood sugars with diet and a prescription called Glyburide that I took twice a day. My highest glucose numbers while watching my diet were in the 110-120 range. I stayed between 70 and 100 pretty regularly. Looking back, I would kill for those high numbers now! In March of 2017, we delivered a bit bigger, yet still healthy, 10 lb and 2 oz, handsome baby boy.

Again, I had to take the glucose test at my 6-week check up. The numbers were a little high (in the pre-diabetes range) I was told. My OB/GYN suggested I go to a family doctor and have them look into my blood sugars, maybe do some tests, just so that they can watch it in the future and make sure I stay healthy. I followed through and met with our family doctor. He had me track blood sugars for a couple of weeks and I sent them in. He said he wasn't concerned with my numbers at this point, but told me some of the warning signs of diabetes: being thirsty and having to go to the bathroom frequently were the two I remembered. He also advised me to check my fasting blood sugar once a month, just so that I had some data to watch. I really didn't follow through on that last one. I mean, I had a newborn baby - my sleeping and eating patterns weren't always normal! Any mamas out there that can relate?!

Stayed tuned for Part  2!

Hello there!

Hey blog readers. I wanted to take a moment to introduce myself. I am a 31 year old Christian, wife, mom and teacher-librarian who has had Type 1 diabetes for almost a year and a half now. I have a wonderful, loving husband who works in accounting and two awesome children who fill our life with love, excitement, and a little chaos from time to time.

Life feels anything but normal most days. I often feel as if I’m going through the motions of being a teacher, mom and wife and I’m waiting for a normal day or season of life to come. What I’ve realized though is that this is normal. This is MY normal. 

I have spent a lot of time praying and working for most of the things I’ve been blessed with: my husband, our kids, my family, our house, my career, etc. Some other things have also become a part of my life along the way: coaching, joining community organizations, and becoming diabetic. While I wanted and was excited about many of these things, I have found it difficult to be grateful for them at times. I’ve also struggled to accept how some of these things have altered my life. I knew getting married and having kids would change my life. Sometimes however, there are things that change your life that you didn’t plan for: enter diabetes. Obviously I didn’t want to become diabetic, but it was inevitable for me. There isn’t anything I can do to make it go away, it’s not something I can change with the right diet and exercise (yes they do play a role, but I will ALWAYS be diabetic). 

Now I can sit here and be angry (which I’ve done over the last year or so) and I can be a really hard person to live with (sorry family) or I can make a decision to grow, to accept my new normal and to learn how to find joy in this new journey. 

However, finding joy is really hard sometimes, especially when you are a perfectionist! I fear this part of my personality has been challenged the most in the last year. I like things in my life to be organized, planned out, and relatively clean (aside from my closet)! However, that just isn’t always realistic. I have gotten really down on myself and had very negative self-thoughts because I can’t keep my house clean all the time, be the appropriate weight, have the most efficient and well-run classroom, but you know what? No one in my life has ever told me that I’m not enough or that I’m not doing enough. In fact, it’s just the opposite. I have people who tell me I’m a great mom, a great wife, a great friend, and even a great teacher. I am enough. 

That being said, I have decided my word for this year is Enough. I need to tell myself each and every day that I am enough. I need to be reminded that when I do my best and give my all in each moment, I am enough. This will be my path to peace and how I plan to find joy in my journey. 

I was able to reflect and come to many of these realizations after I listened to this sermon by Steven Furtick of Elevation church. I actually listened to the podcast, but you can watch his sermons live or online if you’d like. Check out their app for all the ways to get connected. 

What is your word for 2019?